Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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