I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
