I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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