I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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