Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
