It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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