true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
