Where is the hickey?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
