just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
