Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
