We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
