Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize