he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
