Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
