please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
