The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
