If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
