Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
