is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
