if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
