ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
