I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize