So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Your cock deserves a montage
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize