Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
