you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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