She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
