And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
