I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We got so high we made milksteak
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize