so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
