they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
