Pappa wants mamma naked
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
