It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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