When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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