Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize