1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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