ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
