I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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