Sacagawea was the original milf.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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