just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
