I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize