i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
