so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
