We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
