So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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