I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
