I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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