i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
