If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
