like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
