im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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