if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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