You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
