Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
