Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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