I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
