Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
