i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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