The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
